Ramblings of a drunken sailor

La belle France...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:32:49 GMT

So...another week ends.

There's a teachers strike on Tuesday. My schools are both open, but I reckon that I won't have all my classes at my 'main' school. I've been here two months, and I'm yet to have all my scheduled classes take place. Why should next week be any different? *sigh*. As I said in my last post, I work in two schools, let's call them FM and PV. PV is a wonderful school. It's in a rough area, but the teaching staff are absolutely wonderful, always willing to help me with my work, and they're just lovely teachers. We've been out to dinner, I have offers of going out with their families, and I babysit one colleague's daughters.

FM on the other hand is rubbish. My mentor, ignores us. I emailed her two days ago about the strike, and asking if she could suggest any teaching material for the environment. Her reply was "Search online." I'm fuming. She's meant to be helping us, but nothing. God, it's so frustrating! On Wednesday morning, she told Suzannah that she was doing a class on British Traditions. It was the first time Suzannah had been told of this, and so she hadn't prepared anything. Sylvie, our mentor knew this, and then at the beginning of the class, got Suzannah in front of the class and told the students "Because she hasn't bothered preparing anything, you'll be marking a test instead." Suzannah was understandably upset about the lack of professionalism and the humiliation. God knows that I would be. We're going to make a complaint to the Educational Authority next Thursday in Lille, because it just isn't fair. We've had no support at FM whatsover, our classes get cancelled without warning, our timetables have been changed twice, and it's generally not a great place to work. We're ignored in the staffroom, and we have no idea whose classes we're teaching. To make things better, there are no English Teachers present on Tuesdays...guess when we're scheduled?! Fucking pathetic. I'm so annoyed, and it's making the whole homesickness thing so much worse. I want routine, dammit!!
It's not all doom and gloom in Arras though! :D
This weekend, I'm meant to be going out with Suzannah and Dan, two of the other Arras Assistants. We're either going to Brussels, or to Boulogne-sur-mer. I'm secretly hoping for Boulogne, because I want to go to the big aquarium. Plus I went to Brussels in June with Gustav, and whilst it was nice, it wasn't fantastic :)
Then, next week my parents and brother are coming to visit me! The Christmas market begins on Friday, so we're going to do that, and probably the usual Brit-in-Arras thing of the War Graves. I also have to get Jono up the belfry. He's scared of loud noises, and when you get out of the lift, you're next to a massive bell, and the NOISE! It's awful. He's almost 16, so he'll probably try and kill me. Ho hum :)
After the Adams Family leave Arras, Gustav comes for a few days!! Big yay! I'm making a special dinner for when he gets here, providing his train doesn't break down again in Care Bear Country. Gosh, the trauma that caused. I'm looking forward to seeing him, I miss him so much and we're going to go iceskating, and spend lots of time cuddling and being ridiculously cute. We're good at that :D
Then it's only 2 weeks until I come home. RESULT!!! :D I can't wait.
Over and out :)

Ps. It's official: Gustav and I are officially moving in together next year!! <3

Anna mun mennä

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:51:00 GMT

I have Chisu's "Mun koti ei oo täällä" stuck in my head. I want to go home. I've been in France for just over a month, and I hate it. I have never been homesick in my life, and I've travelled around enough over the last 5 years to make me realise that this isn't normal. Perhaps it's because my friends and family are so close? It feels like they're on the other side of the world, when in fact it's about 4hrs journey from door to door! (Arras-Lille-London-Ipswich). My parents and brother are coming to visit in the last week of November, and Gustav will be back in the first weekend of December. I want to find the fastforward button, dodge the shit, and land in happyland. This weekend is likely to be dead, as is the next, although tomorrow I'm going down to the British Cemetery to attend the Armistice services. 91 years ago today, beneath the foundations of the appartment block, the English were entrenched against the Germans, whose frontline is 10 minutes walk away on the school field

My job is definitely my major depression trigger. I work in 2 schools. My main school is 10 minutes walk from my flat. I'm meant to have a mentor, Mrs D, whose job it is to help us settle, find accommodation, sort out the paperwork and to advise and support us. She has done literally fuck all. We've been sent to classes with 5 minutes notice, completely unprepared because nobody has bothered to tell us who the classes are, what their English is like, nor who their teacher is. The teacher of each class is meant to guide us, but she hasn't. The school in question has 5 English teachers. I know 2. The first, my mentor is just impossible. She ignores the other English assistant and me in the staffroom, and blamed us for not knowing what to do when we had no idea about anything. How are we meant to succeed in our jobs if there is nobody here to show us the way? I've got discipline problems in 2 of my classes. I'm finding it hard, I'm well out of my depth in Secondary Schools. The kids are bigger than I am, and they just have no respect, until you threaten them with detention if they do not cooperate. Mrs D (mentor), is a part-time teacher, head of English, mother, wife, and teacher trainer, which is, as she told us, why we're left alone. "I cannot do everything." THEN WHY THE FUCK TAKE IT ON?! One of my colleagues in the other school (who I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about), is under her instruction at teacher training college. He graduates this summer. He told me this morning how he had emailed her a month ago, and was still waiting for a reply. And it's not just my depression and homesickness. Suzannah, my colleague is also having the same problems at work, and alot of teachers in the district are of the same opinion of her: thoroughly useless.

I'm just not cut out for secondary school. I want to work with kingergarten and primary. Nothing else, if even that itself. Who knows?

All I know is that I want to go home more than I have ever done. I'm miserable here, and lonely. Why can't I just go home and carry on with life as it was. Uni and work. The other students in my year are also having miserable times, so at least I'm not alone.

Friday, I'm off to the International Film Festival to see "Flickan" (SWE) and "Kielletty Hedelmä" (FI), two films whose synopses have intrigued me enough to part with my hard earned Euros :)

Rant

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 09:44:12 GMT

Hei, it's alright!
Don't worry. You guys sit in front of the tv, and make a mess. Oh, and don't bother to clean up after yourselves- I'll be home at 11pm, and I'll clean it whilst you guys laugh and joke about it.
It doesn't matter that I've been awake since 7:30am, nor that I've had half an hour break between Uni and going to work. 11 o'clock is nothing, really. In fact, I LOVE having absolutely no free time.

And don't tell me that we should make a cleaning rota. I did, and you all looked at it, laughed, and binned it. So thanks for that. Perhaps if you guys got off your lazy arses and helped a little bit, you wouldn't be so ill because of the dust. Novel idea, huh?

But no, it must be hard doing nothing. Yes, you work 13 hours/week, but you also have 2 days off, and more because you're too hungover to get out of bed. Whilst you're pratting around, using all the dishes and not cleaning them afterwards, I'm at Uni for 10 hours, and then I work for 20 hours. I don't get days off, and I have only a few hours each day when I can sit down and do my Uni work, but time and time again, I find that I spend that time cleaning up after you, you lazy, selfish bastards.

Why should I have to do your washing up, just so I can clear a space to prepare my dinner? Why should I have to clean the bathroom at 11pm at night, whilst you sit on the computer, or chat to your girlfriends? And how dare you tell me that you do your bit by doing YOUR washing up. Please, don't make me laugh. The house is a dump, and I'm the only one who bothers.

The day before Christmas Eve, I had a day off. On that day, I cleaned the house from head to toe, and didn't get anything done that needed to be done, like my essays, or the christmas shopping. I was practically alone in the house, and it was neat and tidy. You guys come back, and when I leave to Finland on NYE, I saw the living room at 4am, and there were glasses, and cans, and plates on the floor. Upon my return, its as though I never cleaned anything. The floor was filthy, there was spit in the sink, and your hair was blocking the bath plug- that's all three of you. And don't get me started on the dishes.

I'm your housemate, and allegedly your friend, not your fucking mother.

I'm done with the whole farce. If you want to live like pigs, you can. You can also find a way to pay my rent, because I'm moving out if this shit continues.

Writer's Block: Found Objects

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:20:04 GMT

As the old saying goes, one person's trash is another person's treasure. What's the best thing—chairs, roller skates, old electronics—you've ever found that someone else had thrown away?

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Best ever finds have to be my flints.

The first one I found back in 2005, is a late Neolithic flint arrowhead. I wasn't really looking for it, but it just jumped out at me as I was walking along through farmland.

The second one, I found by accident in 2005/6. Walking home from Sixth Form with two friends, I jokingly insulted on, and he shoved me, as we were walking down a hill. As I tried to steady myself, I saw a shiny piece of flint staring up at me, so I picked it up, took it home, washed it, and photographed it, sending the photos and measurements to a colleague at the local Archaeology unit, who later identified as being late Neolithic, and examination by the county's flint expert, we discovered that it had been discarded during manufacture. This was evident through some breaks in the flint which correspond with other examples. Thrilled, I kept my eyes open every time I took that route home from school, and over the next months found several burned flints, as well as other worked flints. Evidence, of a Neolithic settlement. Unfortunately, whilst geographically viable as a settlement, archaeologically, it was a liability, due to development of the majority of the area during the 1960s.

Writer's Block: Top 10

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 10:12:04 GMT

It's the time of year for "10 Best" lists. What's on your personal 10 Best—events, movies, music, anything—list for 2008?

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10. Negative in Berlin (would have liked to have added Flinch to that, but we missed all but the last 3 songs)
9. The day in Berlin- hot, sunny, very nice.
8. German/Nordic BBQ at the lake
7. Finnish night @ Uni
6. BBQ by the lake with Lazu
5. Sitting at the bus stop with Leggi before flying to Berlin, nääs.
4. Visiting my old kindergarten, Markku and Camilla
3. Summer with Leo
2. Flinch in Helsinki on Leggi's Birthday

and in first place without any doubt at all:

1. Flinch, Incredible Nothing and Hell City Punks @ Vimma, Turku :D

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:19:13 GMT

Where did you begin 2008?
Ipswich, at our neighbours' place.

What was your relationship status by Valentine' s Day?
Single.

Were you in school (anytime this year) ?
The University of Essex.

Did you have to go to the hospital?
Nope.

Did you have any encounters with the police?
Only the guys at customs at Pirkkala... one of them is HOT XD

Where did you go on vacation?
Finland, Germany, Finland, Finland, Germany....

What did you purchase that was over $500?
My rent equates to that. So rent and bills...

Did you know anybody who got married?
No

Did you move anywhere?
Colchester-Ipswich-Colchester

What sporting events did you attend?
Other than my ex flatmates' 5-a-side games, none.

Where do you live now?
Colchester

Describe your birthday?
The weather was shockingly good. I went to a barbecue with the Nordics, and then went out with my family... and my flatmates bought me a cake and sung to me. The boys that is, the girls hated me.

What's the one thing you did but thought you would never do in 2008?
Get a job :D

What has/have been your favorite moment(s)?

Summer in the house with Leo
Spending a day in Berlin at 30C, then returning to temperatures of 8C and rain XD
THE trip to Turku
Barbecuing by the lake with Lazu.

What's something you learned about yourself?
That I'm not useless, nor am I stupid. I can do it if I really want. There are two sides to my brain, and I can think independently in Finnish

Any new additions to your family?
No.

Made new friends?
Yes <3

Favorite Night [s] out?
Without doubt: Flinch @ Vimma...

Any regrets?
None that I can think of.

What do you want to change in 2009?
Relationship status...

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
Ipswich, Finland

Change your hairstyle?
I dyed it 3 times, had it cut 4 times

How old did you turn this year?
20.

Do you have a New Year' s resolution ?
Grin and bear it :) Get through Uni and be a calmer person.

Anything embarrassing?
Lots. For sure.

Got arrested?
Nope.

Did you get sick this year?
I had flu in February

Start a new hobby ?
Nope...

Are you happy to see 2008 go?
Out with the old, in with the new :D

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 21:47:35 GMT

I've done archaeology now for 9 years, and I spent a year working in Childcare, and NEVER have I obtained as many injuries as I have in the last three weeks.

I have an ear infection. Only my right ear is functioning as it should. Every so often, I can hear something in my left ear, but it's pretty much constantly 'deaf', and when I burp, it crackles and the PAIN! It makes me wince, and curse. Loudly. Should probably go and see the doctor. No free time.

Then, today, came my party trick: I was on lobby, and I was sweeping like a shiny fire demon, and somehow I wasn't concentrating, and I crushed my hand between a table and the tip of the broom handle. I can't actually bend my fingers now on my right hand. Typing is a nightmare, and it's so sore. It's also purple/black/red and swollen to the extent that i can't actually move the poxy thing, unless- ironically, it's holding a broom. A broom fits perfectly. Somehow I wonder just how much God hates me!

Better go now: gotta be up @ 6am

Writer's Block: Immigration

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 10:59:31 GMT

If you had to immigrate from your current home, where in the world would you choose to go?

Submitted By purplemer3

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Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:43:03 GMT

Eilen menin äidin ja siskon kanssa Lontooseen. Mentiin Marimekko kauppaan ja ostin unikko sukat, ja sain lahjaksi äidiltä ja Charlottelta muki ja oven glove :D
Sen jälkeen mentiin Pizza Hutiin, ja sisällä se oli liian kuuma, oikeasti, ja siellä oli niin monta ihmisiä. Ehkä liikaa? Kävimme Harrodsissa myös, en tykkää siitä paljon, ja arvaa mitä? He myyvät vaatteetta koiralle ja kisalle. Ihan uskomaton! Viimeiseksi mentiin Nordic Bakeryyn. Keskiviikko on munkkipäivää, mutta mun mielestäni on, että huhuja että maailman paras munkit ovat myynyt Pyynikin näkötornin kahvilassa Tampereella :D Hehe. Join kahvia, ja se oli niin kova. Ehkä kovempi ikinä, ainakin minulle. Sitten mentiin takaisin rautatieasemaan, ja katselin hiiriä raiteelta :) Mutta juna ei tuli, koska siellä oli ongelmia siis lähdettiin bussilla rautatieasemaan, ja kotiin :)

Tänään mulla on työhaastattelu Colchesterissa. Toivon, että saan töitä. En välitä että se on McDonaldsilla, vain että voin maksaa vuokrausta. Siis mun täytyy nyt lähteä kaupunkiin ostaa kengät ja housut :)

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 06:05:41 GMT

En muista viimeinen kertaa että heräsin niin aikaisin vapaaehtoisesti! Oon kyllä mennyt nukkumaan tämä aikana, mutta se oli kun olin asumassa yliopistossa.
Mut joo, oon menossa tänään Leggin j Carrien kanssa Lontoseen. Mä vihaan Lontoota, mutta Leggi tarvitsee mennä erikoissairaalan, ja lupasin että menisin hänen kanss kun sen äiti täytyy tänään töitä. Oon kertonut vanhemmille tästä niin paljon, mutta he unohtavat kaikki että mä sanoin. Ho hum.
Anyway, tänään tulee meille äidin ystäviä Uudesta-Seelannissa. Äiti stressaa kun hän tahtoo kaikki olla täydellinen, ja niin viime yönä, isä kysyi multa jos auttaisin huomenna tarhalla. Kerroin että olin menos Lontooseen, ja häntä vituttaa mulle. WTF? Niin sanoin että heräsin niin aikaisin tehdä töitä tarhassa ennen kaikkea, niin heräsin 6:45. WTF. No joo, siis sen jälkeen jos mullon aikaa, mä kävelen rautatieasemaan kun mullei oo rahaa -.- Vittu vittu vittu.
Mut hei, Lontoossa on ruotsalainen supermarket niin oon menossa sinne sairaalaan jälkeen :D He myyvät Fazer Salmiakki, Geisha, ja myös erikoisruisleipä :D Nami <3 He myyvät myös t-paitoja. Mä tahdon ostaa tämä "Made in Sweden" paita :D

Miks?

Siks!!

Hahaha... no nyt, aikaa mennä 'töihin'. Oikeasti, en tajus että koska mä oon arkeologi että se tarkoittaa että mä oonkin puutarhuri XD

Weird dreams o.O

Fri, 16 May 2008 15:48:28 GMT

So... weird dreams. Again.

Weirder than normal, and twice in one night. How lucky I am...

So yes. Dream number one:
I was at Uni, in the kitchen, and we were having a party, or something. Anyway, there were lots of people coming into the kitchen.
I was cooking or something, and somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned round and it was The Ex. I asked what the hell he was doing there, and he said he'd come to see me <3
And we were standing there, holding hands and chatting, and I suddenly realised that everybody in the room had gone silent, and was watching us. I told them to stop watching, as it was nothing to do with them, and carried on talking to The Ex. Then James tried talking to me, and I told him to leave me alone, and went to my room with The Ex so we could talk in private.
But then, when we were in the corridor where the bedrooms are, I noticed that my bedroom door was open, despite having locked it. So we went into the room, and The Ex pointed out that the window had been broken. (Bear in mind that I live on the 12th floor...)
So we figured that someone had broken into my room, and set about looking for things that would typically be stolen. I found my purse, with the money in, but the chip had been snapped off my bank card- the English one, not the Finnish. And then I saw that my passport had been ruined. So then we had to call the police, and I got angry about my stuff being taken, and The Ex tried calming me but I sent him away...

He's been on my mind alot this last week, and it disturbs me now that he appears nightly in my dreams. Surely some part of my life can be without him getting into my mind?

Dream Number 2:
Leads on partly from the first dream. We'd found out that my stolen things were in Finland, in either Turku or Tampere, so I decided to go and find them, with some of my friends. Suddenly we were in Sweden, and we faced a monumental trek, with a time limit, and a distinct lack of money. We had to travel to Gothenburg, and from there, across country to Stockholm, and then onto a Ferry to Turku. With my extreme lack of Swedish skills, we asked passers by where we were, and we were in Anna. (I googled this when I woke up, and it actually exists!! It's in Fagersta Municipality, in Västmanland, in Easter Sweden) So we then got the train which was like the S-Bahn in Germany, and stopped in a town centre, where there was sea, and boats. I jumped into the water because it was hot, and nearly killed my phone, and then we were trying to find somewhere to stay for the night, and was told the nearest place was in Gothenburg, at the opposite side of the Country, so we walked there....

I then woke up, and so I don't know if I got there or not.

Karma Killer...

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:05:13 GMT

I really, really, REALLY don't like the songs from Negative's new album. I'd suspected that I might not, 'cause I have to say that Anorectic didn't really tick the boxes, but bloody hell. In my opinion, they're dreadful. I tried the usual technique- only play the first 30 seconds of the song, to see if it hooked me. It didn't, so I then listened to the entire thing. The only thoughts I had were "TURN IT OFF!!" Oh dear :)

On the other hand, what can I say about Irrallaan?! Well, if it were possible to marry inanimate objects, then I'd marry this here CD :D I bloody love it!!!!! It's a joy to listen to, because of the vocals being so clear, and the clarity and deliberation with the pronuniation is just OMG! You can really hear the words and it's just, amazing. :'D
I really cannot wait for Monday now :) Mainly cause it means I have a date with the delightful Mr Jucha when I get back to England *squee* But shhh ;-) Hehe.

I reckon that, for the time being, this'll be my last gig. Recently, I've been thinking alot, about whether the influence of music in my life is a positive one. I feel like I'm too old for going around fangirling and travelling across Europe just to see a gig. And rather than making me happy, it leaves me feeling hollow, and I can't actually explain why that is :-/ Obviously, the last gig I went to was back in Finland, and coming home ruined me. When I lived there, I was the happiest I had ever been, and I felt so relaxed and at ease. But since coming back last June, I've felt miserable, melancholic, and I've put on about 16kg o.O And I just don't feel any enthusiasm, nor do I much identify anymore with my friends- they don't understand what I think, and vice versa- like, I lived on my own and I *had* to become totally independent. And when I was living in Valkeakoski, I had so much freedom, and independence- my own home, a job, and I was doing something. But now, even though I don't live with my parents, I still feel that my independence is reduced. Like, whilst my flatmates are going out and getting totally wankered on Snakebite and Tesco Value Vodka (who knew?!) I'm at home, baking, tidying, reading, watching documentaries or designing my new clothes. I don't get it. In some ways, I feel like I never really had my teenage years- you know, going out, getting wasted (obviously impossible), getting STIs and god knows what else... I don't identify very much with people of my own age, and it gets me down, 'cause I'm seen as the Mother Hen, always looking after her brood.

And the way that some people completely abandoned me when I'd moved back to England, and was no longer in the midst of the action, getting all the latest gossip really winds me up. Obviously, these people weren't my friends, but still, I invested time in them, when I could have been building bridges with my existing friends back home.

Hell. I dunno what any of this really means, other than I'm feeling bitter and regretful. It's just... I dunno. I want to fit in with the people around me, and be invited to watch films in other peoples' rooms, to go on nights out etc. Just because I'm older and more mature, it doesn't mean that don't want to get along and be include.

Hylkättää jos tahdotte. Vittu kun vituttaa :-/

Feel Berlin? I'd rather feel Vi---------------

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:00:22 GMT

NO NIIN!!!!!! FLINCHILLÄ JA NEGATIVELLA ON KEIKKAA BERLIINISSÄ!!

and guess who's going?!
So what if I'm snowed under with revision and Uni work... my degree IS in German... and last time I checked, Berlin was in Germany.
So yeah. Thanks to Ryanair, I'm going to see Flinch, and knowing my bad luck, get fucking kidnapped after... although I'm wondering if I could persuade Jaska to protect me? He wants to play the Royal Albert Hall, bless his cotton socks! *cuddles Jaska* But I reckon I can get him a gig in London....at least....

OH HAPPY DAY!!! <3

Flinch <3

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 17:43:09 GMT

The sweetest, yet hardest, florist in Finland!

My Stalker... and no, I'm not actually kidding ._.

Jaska. The most photogenic man ever,

Haiwe...he shops at K-Supermarket!

Osku. Always a pleasure, never a chore :D

Stalked by a rockstar!

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 11:49:35 GMT

I *really* am!!
It was just coincidence when I lived in Finland...
...same as it was coincidence that he just happened to read my blogs on IRC(!)
...going to the same places as me, no matter how obscure the events were...
...the staring
...the attempts to have conversations with me
...the whole 69 Eyes incident in April- with the standing behind me in the emptiest corner of the venue and almost spilling his beer on me

paranoid i may be, but it's a little bit too much coincidence!?

Hey, I really need a sunny day!

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 13:49:48 GMT

And it's really sunny = Happy Jo :)
If you didn't know already, I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which makes the winter quite difficult for me, with regards to my mental state. This winter has been one of the hardest for me, so the sunny days that we've had have been literally a lifesaver :)

But anyway, at the moment, life is good. I'm at Uni, and as long as you avoid the kitchen/bombsite, then you're laughing. I have my room, and everything I need. I should be getting the results of two of my assignments this week, I'm nervous about that 'cause I had a tough time getting them done- I'd left it to the last minute, which coincided with me being ill, so as you can guess, I wasn't firing on all four :)

I'm going to Finland on Thursday. Flying as usual to Tampere (I hate Helsinki-Vantaa airport with a passion), and we're staying in Dambere before heading to Helsinki on Friday :D We're gonna be seeing Flinch and Heijaste, which we're über-excited about. Jaska owes me a drink XD and I'm meeting up with some friends online who'll also be at the gig- The EU Flinch Fanclub XD hehe.

But yeah :) I've fallen for one of my friends, which is ironic. At Christmastime, I had a dream that we'd actually had a relationship which had ended, and I then discovered that I was pregnant, but this guy was too far away to tell in person, so he had to Fly to see me. Anyway, at Christmastime, I got sick, and was throwing up alot, and at one point my mum asked if I was pregnant. At the time I was horrified for obvious reasons, but then yesterday, when I was at home, Äiti mentioned it again, and said that she'd wondered because I'd put on wait, and had quite a noticeable *bump*. I'm mortified by that... moreso, because the person she suspected who'd got me pregnant was the guy I now like... very very very weird.

And yeah... let's not start on the state of the kitchen, huh?

cynic? moi?!

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 15:13:24 GMT

Anyone want to start a book on the likelihood that the next band signed by HYPE Records will be Filthy Sixx?!

Sä kysyt multa miksi multa miksi oon vihainen...

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 21:42:17 GMT

Why in the name of Jesus Christ, does it always have to be about you?!?!
You're not the only person on this fucking planet who has problems.
Do you have any idea it feels, to be the one who always has to listen to everybody's problems? But then, whenever I have something I need to talk about, suddenly nobody is there?!?!

It hurts. It really hurneeds myself, ts. The amount of other people's sh*t that I have to deal with is far outweighing my own.

From now on, to save your time and mine, just DON'T do something you KNOW you'll end up regretting. If you don't want something bad to happen, then you do stuff to STOP it from happening, you know?!?!?

There are more important things in life than all this bullshit.

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 22:27:19 GMT

Käärmeet puremat mun kaulalla...
Current mood: awake

miks kysymys aina oo rahasta? enkä minä ymmärrä.
noni, ongelmaa on nyt ihan ohi- menin tänään toimistoon ja nainen kertoo, että mä saan rahaa!! kuinka paljon, en oo vielä varma, mutta tiedän, että mä saan rahaa kurssille!!!

Toimistossa, he kertovat miulle, että nyt olen opiskelija, en enää saa rahaa :-O voi vittu.

Tapasin Leggi ja Lazu kaupungissa, ja mentiin siis kinoon, katsoa Knocked Up-leffa. Nauroin niin kovasti, että unohdin hengittää :'-D
Vauvat oli SÖPÖJÄ!! <3<3<3 Ehkä joku päivä mä saan omani lapsiani XDD

Mut, ekana on yliopisto. Mä oon menossa suomen jälkeen- lennän Tampereelta Lontooseen yöllä 1.10, ja sit meen seuraavalla aamulla yliopistoon!!! Odotan vain mun yksinäisyyksieni, ja tavata mun uus ystäviä :-D

Menen ens viikkoa Suomeen!!! Tampere here I come!!! Toivotaan, mennä Helsinkiin, Jyväskylään, ja Tampereen. Ois kiva, mennä Korkeasaareen XD ELÄIMIÄ!
Lauantaina on Carinan synttäriä!! Juhlitaan sitten baarissa :) Toivottavasti, kaikki menee hyvin- uskon että mä on nyt järjestynyt toi kakkua, ja mennään sitten baarin Helsingin jälkeen, juhlita in style!

Hahahaha!!! Mä oon jo nähnyt joku uus-kuvia! Arvatkaa kenen ne on?! Oooh, vaikea, vai? Sen vitun kädet ovat ISOT!!!! Voi että, se ois kiinostinut *cough*, tietää mitä hän voi tekee käsillä XDDDDDDD Noni, en tiedä, jos pitäis lyödä tai naida häntä ^-^ Ja sen uus jäseniä näkyvät ihan oudolta :-/ yhden pojan tulee vlk:lta!!!! Mä tiesin sen jo, ja myös että joku pojalla on mun lempinimeni <3 EN tiennyt, että joku kitaristi tai basisti, näkyy kun Uniklubin Teemua!!! OHO!!! hehehehehehe. No niin, pelkään uudesta levystä- että sen ääni on kun joku suomenkielisen Negative, tai joku vitun metalli bändi. En tiiä paljon, mutta tiiän kyllä, että toi lauluja EI OSAA laulata metallia ^-^ hän voi huutaa ihan nätisti, mutta joooo.................................

Noni, mä on nyt menossa sänkyyn -_- tarvin herätä huomenna n. klo 6 aamulla!! prkl.

Liikaa koskaan ei tarpeeks....

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 18:07:24 GMT

Voi herranjumala.

-_-

OMG!OMG!OMG!!!!

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 17:15:04 GMT

I MAY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO TO ONE OF THE FIRST FLINCH GIGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dies*

A joke for y'all!

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 20:27:47 GMT

Perheessä oli kolme tytärtä, he olivat vielä neitsyitä. Sattui kuitenkin niin, että kaikki kolme tytärtä menivät avioon lyhyen ajan sisällä. Ja koska äiti oli hieman huolissaan siitä, miten tyttärien seksielämä lähtee käyntiin, hän laittoi heidät kaikki lupaamaan että
kirjoittavat muutaman sanan postikortilla miltä se avioliiton seksi on tuntunut.

Ensimmäinen tytär lähetti kortin Kreikasta pari päivää vihkimisen jälkeen. Kortissa ei lukenut muutakuin "Nescafe". Äiti oli hieman ihmeissään aluksi, mutta meni keittiöön ja kaivoi Nescafe purkin esiin. Siinä luki "Hyvää viimeiseen pisaraan saakka" ja äiti helahti punaiseksi, mutta oli iloinen tyttärensä puolesta.

Toinen tytär lähetti kortin New Yorkista viikko vihkimisensä jälkeen. Kortissa luki "Benson&Hedges". Äiti arvasi nyt heti mennä tutkimaan miehensä savukeaskia ja siinähän luki että "Extra Long, King Size".Äiti
oli jälleen hieman hämillään, mutta silti iloinen tyttärensä puolesta.

Kolmannen tyttären häämatka suuntautui Karibialle. Äiti odotti viikon, eikä korttia näkynyt. Toinenkin viikko meni eikä korttia vieläkään ilmaantunut. Meni kokonainen kuukausi ennenkuin kortti viimein saapui. Siihen oli kirjoitettu vapisevalla käsialalla "British Airways". Äiti etsi käsiinsä jostakin sunnuntain Helsingin Sanomat, käänteli sivuja ja pelkäsi pahinta kunnes viimein löysi lomamatkailmoitukset ja BA:n mainoksen. Siinä luki "kolme kertaa päivässä, seitsemänä päivänä viikossa, kaikkiin paikkoihin".

***

And the same in English:

In a family were 3 daughters, and they were still virgins, a very short time before they married, and the mother was worried about it, how the girls' sex lives were going down the tubes. Because she was worried, she made them all promise that they'd send her a postcard, to say how it was for them...

The first daughter sent a postcard from Greece, a few days later. On it, was written nothing but the word "Nescafe" . At first, the mother was a bit confused, but she went to the kitchen, and found the Nescafe jar. It read 'Great down to the last drops'. The mother went bright red, but she was happy for her daughter.
The second daughter sent a card from New York, a week later. The card read "Benson and Hedges". Mother knew to go straight to her hustband's cigarette box, which read "Extra Long, King Size". Mother was embarrassed, but pleased for her daughter.

The third daughter's honeymoon took her to the Caribbean. The mother waited a week, but no postcard came. Another week went by, but still it didn't arrive. It was a whole month before the card arrived. On it, was scrawled "British Airways". The mother was confused, so she looked through the Helsingin Sanomat, turning the pages and finding nothing, and worrying that she wouldn't find it. Eventually, she came to the holiday destination pages, and found British Airways' advert. It read "Three times a day, seven days a week, everywhere."

Grrrr!!!!

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:41:39 GMT

VIELÄ mä odotan, kuulla jos mä saan raha.
Tarvitsen siitä, siksi koska yliopisto aloittaa 1.10, ja tarvin maksaa mun kurssille, ja myös asuntolani -__-
yksi vuotta yliopistossa on n. £5,000 o.O
Lähetin viime viikkona mun henkilötunnistus firmalle, ja he lähettivät se mulle eilen.
Nyt, pitäis odota....

Mä meen suomeen 2 viikoa tänään!!!! *jännittää*
Odotan vain sitä :D
Kun me ollaan Tampereella, sitten kaikki on ok *-*
Mä meen pe. valkeakoskeen, päiväkotiin <3
Sitten pankkiin :(
Sitten joskus iltapäivällä on toi uniklubi haastattelu <3<3<3<3<3<3
Sen jälkeen, me mennään Jannin kaa Jyväskylään :D (kiitoskiitos!tacktack!)
Lauantai on Helsinkiin!!!!
Korkeasaareen!!!
Kirkkoon!
Ja illalla takas Tampereelle, ja Amadeukseen, juhlita kaverin synttäri.
Sunnuntai ei oo vielä varmaa....
Maanantai *schnief* Lontoseen :'-(
Tiistai: Uus asuntolaan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Busy, busy, busy......

Mutta joo, en voi elää kunnolla vielä, kun mitään ei oo vielä selvä :(

Lord of the Strings!

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 16:54:07 GMT

As you may, or may not know, last week, I had a mad half-hour, during which my friend and I came up with a spoof-version of Lord of the Rings, which included Uniklubi's Janne as Frodo (there is an interview where he speaks of his like of Tolkein, and belief in Hobbits), so... originally, the idea was to produce a little comic strip, but that wasn't enough. My writing skills are pretty crap, so I asked Lisa <3 who kindly agreed to give some flesh to our bones :D

Characters are from a number of Tampere bands: Uniklubi, Negative, Bloodpit, Lovex, Flinch etc etc.....

This never happened, or will happen. It's a figment of our fantastic imagination. :D

Credit for the writing goes to Lisa (Dynasty on the NGT Forum)

Lord of the Strings

It was summertime again, so festival season was drawing closer. Uniklubi, being one of the most popular bands in Finland, had a gruelling rehearsal schedule to keep to and, naturally, after many weeks of solid practice sessions with no gigs to reward them for their hard work, the band's patience was wearing thin.

"For God's sake, Janne, play the right fucking note!" Juksupuksu (otherwise known as 'Jussi') screamed down the microphone as his hobbit of a big brother played the wrong note on his guitar for the fifth time running.

"I can't help it!" Frodo Selo (Janne) squeaked, "That's how it used to be! I'm not used to the new notes yet!" In noticing the way his little brother was glaring at him, Janne quickly arranged his fingers into the right note pattern and strummed as hard as he could, "There! Happy now?"

"No." Juksupuksu answered, folding his arms across his chest.

"Why?"

"Because you just broke a string, idiot!"

Janne glanced downwards at his guitar and let out a high-pitched scream of terror as he noticed that his G string had indeed snapped and was hanging off the neck. A sudden loud bang on the wall behind them made the whole band jump, and the angered voice of Jonne Aaron, the singer of the band Negative, who were rehearsing in the next room, made itself audible

"Keep the fucking noise down! Some of us are trying to rehearse!"

"Yeah, yeah, keep your skirt on, Princess!" Juksu retorted, ignoring Jonne's roar of outrage as he turned back to his brother, "Janne, you've got to go and see the Guru. He'll tell you what to do about your string."

"But he's really tall and-" Janne began, but Jusku was glaring at him once more so he simply did as he was told and tore from the room.

The Guru (Tommi Liimatainen) was the wisest man in all of Middle-Tampere, and he would almost certainly be able to tell Janne where he could find a new G string. After several minutes of searching, Janne tracked the Guru down in the canteen where he was enjoying a nice salad for his lunch.

"Ahh, young Frodo Selo." The Guru smiled as Janne came scurrying towards him, "What can I do for you?"

"My G string snapped!" Janne cried, hopping about and flapping his arms.

"You snapped your underwear?" The Guru asked, bewildered.

"No, my guitar!" Janne wailed, "I need to find a new string, but I don't know where I can get one!"

"Ahh..." The Guru chewed thoughtfully on a piece of lettuce, "Then you must go to Turku, where the Last String is located at Hype HQ! With this string, you will play notes you have never even heard before!"

"Um...okay..." Janne mumbled whilst privately wondering what Juksu would say if a series of unknown notes came pouring out of his guitar, “So, how do I get to...Hype HQ?”

“Ahh, now that is the question!” The Guru appeared greatly excited, “There are only a certain few who know of its location!”

Meanwhile, back in Negative’s rehearsal room, ‘Princess’ Jonne Aaron was going ape at one of his band’s guitarists, Sir Christus, who had successfully managed to snap his G string whilst going next door to Uniklubi’s rehearsal room and using it to throttle Juksu for upsetting his princess.

“I don’t care if he upset me!” Jonne shouted, tears welling in his eyes, “You’ve totally ruined everything! After all the effort I went to, to make myself look pretty just to come here, you go and snap your string so my whole morning has now gone to waste!”

“Oh no, baby, don’t cry!” Christus bounded forwards and engulfed Jonne in a hug as Jonne’s bottom lip started to tremble, “Look, I’ll get a new string! And I’ll take you out for dinner later to say sorry. Okay, princess?” Jonne sniffed and nodded slowly, “Right, I’ll be back soon. Me and Antti have got to go to his house.”

“Er why-” Antti began, but Christus grabbed his arm and dragged him from the room, not wanting to risk him saying anything else that would upset Jonne.

“EBay!” Christus declared happily as he dragged Antti down the corridor, and his bandmate frowned confusedly at him, “I’m gonna look an eBay for a new string, and you’re the only musician in the whole of Middle-Tampere who has a computer!”

They soon arrived at Antti’s house and Christus barged through the door to get to the computer, seeming not to care that he had sent Antti flying headlong across the coffee table in the process. Antti’s computer would have appeared normal and like any other had it not been for the unusual set of horns that were fixed to the top of the monitor. Christus glanced at them indifferently and happily perched himself in the computer chair and turned the computer on.

At once, a swirling red light appeared on the screen and the words ‘Paha Sisällä’ sprang up in large letters.

“Paha Sisällä...?” Christus murmured without seeming to register the meaning of the words, “Oo, Uniklubi were playing that song before! It’s catchy!”

He started to hum the song he had heard through the walls of the rehearsal room earlier and completely ignored the computer’s warning by opening an internet window and typing in the address for the eBay website. Still slightly dazed from his fall, Antti did not think to warn Christus not to let his guard down, and simply crawled into a chair beside him and watched the guitarist search through numerous pages looking for the right guitar strings.

Suddenly, there was a burst of light, profanity, scrabbling noises, and Christus sprouted a pair of scarlet horns out of the top of his head as Teemu, the evil people-posessing computer virus, posessed him. Unable to think straight, Antti merely thought that this was some kind of weird fashion statement that Krisu was attempting to make.

“Did you sort your string out?”

It was nightfall and Jusku and Janne had retreated to Amadeus along with Janne’s good friends Vivian, and Paavo Pingviini. Matthau, a dwarfy thing with a large axe, had also joined them at their table, along with King Aleksi of Middle-Tampere and Tommi the Guru. They all had large glasses of Lonkero on the table in front of them, apart from Paavo, who was supping happily from a can of Battery energy drink and muttering incoherently to himself, a result of too much caffeine.

“Erm...kinda?” Janne offered, sinking down lower into his seat as his brother frowned at him.

“What do you mean ‘kinda’?” Juksu asked as Krisu (horns and all), Japa, the guitarist of Private Line, and Antti slipped into the bar and sat down at the table next to theirs.

“Well, I went to see the Guru like you told me to.” Janne answered, nodding towards Tommi, “And he said that I have to go to Turku to Hype HQ where I’ll find the Last String. He said that, with it, I’ll be able to play notes that I’ve never even heard before.”

“Janne, trust me, you don’t need some fancy string to play notes that I’ve never heard before.” Juksu snorted, “You manage that fine with six normal strings.” Janne scowled at him and aimed a kick at him under the table, but missed and hit Paavo instead, who howled in pain and began muttering away to himself faster than ever, “So now we have to go to Turku?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Janne replied uncertainly, “Either that or we cancel the festival on Saturday...”

“Oh my Goooood, you did not just suggest that!” Juksu sounded horrified at the mere suggestion of cancelling their show, “We’re going to Turku, right now!”

“Yay!” Vivian punched the air happily, “Then we can go on a booze cruise to Stockholm, right?!”

“Stockholm?!” A sudden voice called across the bar and, a few moments later, Jonne’s little brother, Legless (Ville Liimatainen), the drunken elf, came stumbling into view, clutching an abnormally large cocktail glass that was almost empty, “I want to come toooooooo! It sounds like fuuuuun!”

“I’m not going anywhere with him!” Matthau shrieked, eyeing Ville with distaste as he reached the table.

“Fine, you can stop here.” Juksu said simply, “We’re going to Turku right now!”

He slammed his glass down on the table, smashing it and spraying everyone in his immediate vicinity with Lonkero. After much cursing and threats about what they would like to do to him, the group got to their feet and left the bar.

“Mm, Last String, eh?” Krisu muttered as he watched the group get to their feet and leave the bar, “Hmm, I need a new string...”

“Yeah, sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it?” Japa agreed with a grin, “What’s say we go to Turku and get it before them?”

At this, Krisu let out a manical burst of evil laughter and then fell silent, an insane grin spread across his face. The three of them finished their drinks in silence and left the bar in pursuit of Janne and his followers. Antti, not altogether enthusiastic about the idea, decided to head home instead of going in pursuit of the Last String and was just about to turn in for the night when he noticed something odd about his computer; the horns had disappeared from the top of the monitor and there was no longer a strange red light or the warning of ‘Paha Sisällä’. Considerably concerned, Antti re-dressed at lightning speed and hurried back out into Middle-Tampere to find Christus, as he had been the last one to use the computer.

Meanwhile, Janne’s group was already on its way to Turku. It was part of his natural hobbit-instinct to walk the 162km journey, and did not stop to think about catching a train or going in the car, even when Juksupuksu pointed out that it would be a lot faster.

“It’s just something that I have to do.” He told his brother with much dramatic movements of his hands, and Juksu rolled his eyes to the heavens.

Almost as soon as they left Middle-Tampere, Ville and Matthau began arguing about stupid things such as ‘Ville tried to feel my ass so he could steal my axe!’ The group continued onwards towards Turku, completely unaware that they were being watched...

For back in Middle-Tampere, the evil force that was Jann Wilde and Rose Avenue were plotting to take the string for themselves!

Jann Wilde sat in a dark room, his eyes fixed upon a large screen upon which Frodo Selo and his companions were displayed. He smiled evilly and leant back in his high-backed chair, stroking the pink poodle in his lap thoughtfully.

“Ahh, how shall I do it, Vera?” He questioned the dog and took a large bite out of a doughnut that had been resting on the arm of his chair, only to spit it out again, “I wanted raspberry jam, you weak minded fool!”

He slung the doughnut at Arde, his band’s guitarist, who shrieked as it bounced off his head and dropped the large tray of cakes he was holding. Apologising rapidly, Arde extracted a raspberry jam-filled doughnut from the pile on the floor and passed it to Jann. Jann seemed indifferent to the fact that this doughnut had just been on the floor and bit into it before smiling and settling back in his chair.

“Jann.” A new voice joined the conversation and Jann looked up to see Rene and Tender making their way towards him, “Our army is ready.”

“Good.” Jann grinned widely, “Send them out at once.”

Somewhere in the wilderness between Middle-Tampere and Turku, Ville and Matthau were still bickering like a pair of old women, and driving the rest of the group insane. Matthau seemed convinced that Ville was after his ass/axe and had taken to hugging it and whispering to it whenever Ville got too close, calling it ‘Penelope’.

“Hang on.” Juksu suddenly stopped, frowning slightly, and the rest of the group followed suit. Juksu had taken over the roll of leader seeing as Janne was a hobbit, and, therefore, too small to be much of an authority figure, “Do you hear something?”

They all listened carefully, and, sure enough, after a few minutes of silence; they heard what was the unmistakable sound of thundering feet and hysterical screaming drawing closer. Then, suddenly, Christus, Japa and Antti came tearing into view, looking absolutely terrified, Antti with a large brood of chiuahuas in tow.

“Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnn for your liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeessssss!” Krisu screamed as he passed and they understood why mere moments later.

A vast crowd of teenies/wannabe groupies was stampeding towards them, holding aloft cameras and autograph books.

“Janne!” One girl shrieked as she spotted Frodo, “Oh my God, how sexy are his hairy feet?!”

There was perhaps a moment’s pause before they all came to their senses and did as Krisu had advised and ran for their lives. Paavo, still high on caffeine from his energy drinks, zoomed ahead as the teenies screamed louder than ever and chased after the boys. Janne fell behind, his small hobbit legs making him unable to move as fast as the others and it was with great reluctance that Juksu (while rather small himself) backtracked and picked him up.

“Get those feet anywhere near me and I swear they can take you for their sex slave.” Juksu warned fiercely as he sprinted to catch up with the rest of the group.

“Antti, unleash your chiuahuas!” Tommi the Guru cried as the lot of them ran flat out to try and escape the teenies, “They are only slowing us down and they will scare the teenies away!”

“Are you fucking insane?!” Antti screamed in horror, “Send my precious little doggy woggys into a group of sex-crazed teenagers?!”

“Either that or get shagged to death.” Juksu pointed out, who was having considerable difficulty in running without dropping Janne, “Then again, we’ve all gotta die sometime...”

“Don’t even think about it!” Janne yelled as he realised what his brother was contemplating, “Antti, just let the dogs loose!”

With great and obvious reluctance, Antti released his beloved chiuahuas and commanded them backwards towards the screaming fangirls. As the Guru had predicted (bearing in mind that he was never wrong) the teenies scattered, shrieking louder than ever as the vicious little dogs snapped around their ankles.

Soon, they had left the teenies far behind them and stopped to have a rest. Juksu was immensely relieved to get Janne’s stinky hairy hobbit feet away from him, but was none too pleased when the Guru suggested that the two groups merge with there being safety in numbers. This was hardly surprising considering that Krisu had been throttling him with his G string mere hours before. He reluctantly agreed to the suggestion and they set off again as one, Antti fretting over his precious chiuahuas, and Ville and Matthau arguing worse than ever.

“I could have taken them on single-handed.” Matthau was saying, brandishing his axe threateningly as Ville made a noise of disbelief.

“What were you gonna do?” Ville asked, “Talk them into a stupor?”

“One swipe of my axe and they’d all have had crew cuts.” Matthau said proudly, seeming to ignore Ville’s comment, “Middle-Tampere’s hairdressers’ would never have been so busy and it would have all been thanks to me! I could have gotten a free manicure!”

“Matthau, all you’d have to do is look at them and they’d be admitted to hospital with permanent mental scarring.” Ville retorted and Matthau whipped around at once, raising his axe high above his head and Ville immediately realised that he had gone too far.

“Um, guys?” Vivian called after them as Ville ran for his life once more while Matthau chased him with his axe, “Turku’s this way!”

However, the elf and the dwarfy thing did not seem to hear him and disappeared over the top of a distant hill. Deciding that it would be pointless to follow them, the boys carried onwards towards their destination.

It was three days later (after much grumbling, swearing and death threats directed at Frodo) that they finally reached Turku. There, they found Ville and Matthau, who they discovered had somehow got lost in Lapland, yet had still managed to get to Turku before them. Despite the three days they had spent alone together, the elf and the dwarfy thing had not managed to set aside their differences and continued to argue for the whole fifteen minutes it took for Tommi to lead them to Hype HQ.

“There it is!” Janne squealed happily as they entered the room where the Last String was located, “Look, Jussi, there it is!”

He scampered happily over to the table on which the string lay, ignoring the scathing look that his brother gave him. He picked up the Last String and began to bounce happily around the room, but his hairy-soled feet slipped on the laminated wood of the flooring, causing him to slip and smack his head against the table.

Krisu was suddenly taken over by Teemu once more as he saw the Last String and remembered exactly why he was here. Admist the confusion that followed Janne’s fall, it was perfectly easy for him to sneak through the crowd and steal the string from Janne’s outstretched hand before tearing from the room with Japa at his heels.

“Teemu!” Antti suddenly yelled as he realised where his computer virus had gone, and pelted out of the room after Japa and Krisu.

In noticing that the Last String had gone, Janne started to cry and his little brother did not help matters by calling him a ‘crybaby’. Needless to say, Janne was not having a very good week; he’d broken his guitar string, been shouted at several times by his ‘big little’ brother, been chased by teenies, hurt his head, and now he had lost the Last String.

“We must return to Middle-Tampere at once!” Tommi the Guru declared.

Since Janne’s plans had so far been disastrous, they decided to follow Juksu’s suggestion and hop on the next train back to Middle-Tampere. This way was much faster and it was only around two hours before they were piling out onto the platform in Middle-Tampere.

Seeing as both Christus-Teemu and Japa both liked to drink, the boys decided that the most logical place to head would be to Amadeus. Sure enough, they found the two of them seated at a table in the corner of the bar and Antti was attempting to free Teemu by providing Christus with a variety of alcoholic drinks. Across the bar from them, Jann Wilde and Rose Avenue were sitting with their heads together, presumably plotting, and looking mutinous.

“Right, here’s the plan.” Juksu gathered them all round him, “V-”

“Hey, how come you get to make the plan?” Janne asked indignantly, “It’s my G string!”

“So far we’ve nearly had to cancel a festival and nearly been molested thanks to your plans.” Juksu answered coldly, “I’m the so called brains behind this operation. Anyway, the plan; Ville and Matthau are going to go over there and use their charm to get the string back off Christus.”

“Why us?” Ville and Matthau asked in unison.

“You look like Jonne, Ville.” Juksu reminded him, pointing at Ville’s elder brother, who was seated at the bar alone, obviously very drunk and annoyed at being stood up by Christus, “And Christus is like in love with him so he should give it to you. Matthau, if all else fails then you can just stab him with your axe; preferably in the groin area.”

Ville did not look very impressed by this suggestion in comparison to Matthau, who appeared absolutely thrilled at the thought of stabbing someone with his axe. For once, they did not argue as they seperated themselves from the group and made their way over to where Christus, Japa and Antti were sitting.

“Hey, Krisu.” Ville greeted Christus, in what he hoped was a resemblance to the seductive tone that Jonne often used, as he slipped into the seat opposite him, “What’s that you’ve got there?”

“A string.” Christus answered happily, “A G string to be precise. I’m gonna use it to fix my guitar.”

“Oh, cool.” Ville nodded whilst Matthau fiddled impatiently with his axe, “But surely you could just use any string? Why do you need that one?”

“This is the best there is, bro.” Krisu informed him, “I’ll be able to play notes that I’ve never even heard before!”

“Say I could get you another string like that.” Ville said without thinking, “Could I have that one?”

“Nooo, I don’t need one when I’ve already got this one.” Krisu said, hugging the string tight to his body, only to hiss and withdraw it when the sharp end poked into his neck.

Their conversation continued for several minutes but Krisu seemed to be determined that he was going to keep the string, no matter what offers Ville came up with.

“Look, if you let me have it, I’ll tell you where Jonne keeps his underwear!” Ville cried as a last resort, completely forgetting that the man in question was just across the bar.

The effect was immediate; Krisu froze and his eyes lit up at the mention of ‘Jonne’ and ‘underwear’ in the same sentence.

“Deal!” He practically screamed and flung the string across the table at Ville, who grinned at the same time as Matthau slumped in his seat, clearly disappointed that he would not be stabbing anyone’s groin after all.

After giving Christus a detailed description of Jonne’s secret underwear drawer, Ville got to his feet and scurried back across the bar to where the rest of the group were waiting with baited breath. Ville handed over the string and immediately received an enormous hug from hobbit Frodo Selo.

Needless to say, there was much partying to be done after successfully acquiring the string. Slightly disappointed that he would not be going on a booze cruise to Stockholm after all, Vivian ordered a considerably large amount of alcohol and was next seen completely wasted with three metal stars attached to his forehead and did not seem to know how they had got there.

Antti eventually managed to persuade Teemu to stop posessing Christus by bribing him with a combination of vodka, Lonkero, and more vodka. And, with no computer to re-posess, Teemu became a man! He quickly took advantage of the situation in true Teemu style by getting as hammered as possible.

Now that he was no longer under Teemu’s control, Christus quickly remembered the dinner he was supposed to have taken Jonne on and hurried over to his princess to apologise for standing him up by proposing to him instead. Whether because he was genuinely happy or just plain drunk, the rest of the gang couldn’t tell, but Jonne accepted the offer gleefully and much snogging ensued.

At some point during the night, Paavo, going insane on energy drinks, persuaded Aleksi to propose to Alarik, and then stole Jann Wilde and Rose Avenue’s make up bag whilst they went to the toilet, apparently not to try and make themselves look pretty (which, Janne commented, would have been some feat). To get revenge on Jann for setting the teenies on them, Janne took great delight in setting the make-up bag on fire and running around the bar with it shouting “NO MORE JWRA!”

The next day was a happy one in Middle-Tampere. Two weddings took place, and, most importantly of all, Janne fixed his guitar! Everybody’s happy!

THE END

Weird dreams are made of these...

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 09:50:39 GMT

Forget the dream about the odd-looking baby, last night's dream makes that seem positively normal!
I'm guessing, that it was influenced by my love of poetry from the WWI, and my anger that my brother is going to join the RAF one day. (Yesterday in town, I watched a funeral procession for a young boy, aged 22, who was killed in Afghanistan by 'friendly fire'. He was the cousin of a friend. Anyway, the procession came through the town centre, and it passed the RAF/Navy/Army Recruitment office, and there was no sign of anyone from there- people were lining the streets, and even though the procession walked past the office, *NOBODY* came out, and I got really angry, and then in the evening, I made my brother read the poetry I have)

Anyway...so I dreamed I was a soldier in the trenches during WWI, when gas attacks were first used as a weapon...and anyway, me and the other soldiers survived alot of them, but then one day, they used a new gas or something, and we breathed it in (anyone who's read "Dulce et decorum est" will know the next part), and it was like, nobody could breathe, our insides were burning etc etc, and then I fell and passed out....

but then, I woke up, and it was 2007, and I was returning home from the battlefield, and I couldn't walk properly. I was meant to meet my family in the local shopping centre, which looked alot like Koskikeskus in tampere, and I saw Lisa and Asmaa walking there, and we said hi...and then I found my German friend there, with her on/off ex, and so I talked with them, until my family came, and then I saw my British friends sitting at a table and talking to *someone*, and my sister started insulting me, because I couldn't wear some clothes, because of the scars I had, and then the person (who remains nameless here) said no, it was fine, that the scars were something to be proud of, so i should wear what i want...and so I sat with my friends and family talking about it, and then I realised my brother wasn't there, and panicked, but he was fine, just at school.

and then I woke up :-s 10 out of 10 for weirdness, no?